A situation I cannot comprehend.

Sometimes, I don't really understand myself. My mood changes like the wind. Calm and breezy at one time. Raging hurricane the next moment. Until Mel says that I have mood swings worse than her on "that time of the month". -.- Very funny.

I don't know why. I really hate saying goodbye to my family. Maybe that's why I rarely "balik rumah" even though it ain't that far. That is also the reason I rather come back to Shah Alam by public transport than being sent by my dad. It gets really sad on the way. Sometimes without even noticing it, tears start to run down my cheeks. Then my mum would ask "Kenapa nangis ni bang?". And I just can't answer. My throat feels like it is being choked or strangled. Even if I tried  to answer, my voice would definitely crack.

Maybe I played the roles to much and forgot about some of my feelings. Maybe I did feel offended by what you said, and what they did. And I kept it in. Trying to be strong with strength that I don't have. Not that I wanted to "tunjuk kuat" or anything, but I just don't know how to express it. Luckily, I do have a place to let it all out. I thank you for being there for me. :')

I bet all of you felt this way before right. At least once. All I know, is that, no matter how hard times get, how worse the situation is, I always have you to lean on. We all have someone that we open up the hidden doors, the locked closet, the lost pages of our life to. It does not mean that we are weak. It means we are smart enough not to burden ourselves.

The Riddler. He come and go in our mind every now and then. Leaving us with mixed emotions from his twisted words. He's neither a friend nor a foe. Just a part of us, who keep us thinking of what we did not. We all have one. He's always there. Fiddling with things that we took light of and find the reason for us to think about it.

That is all for now. Bye.

Raya!

Assalamualaikum :)

We'll start off with  phrase Afifah shot at me.

"Hm, awak kalau da balik Johor, semua pun lupa."

Well, to be honest, that is actually true. But for a very good reason. I mean, I love my Johor. Just like Afi loves Kedah, Liza loves Kelantan and Hui Ying loves her hometown in Muar. Most of my relatives are in Johor. My grandparents are in Johor. My father lives in Johor. My IC state number is 01, Johor.

Seriess.. Kalau balik Johor, memang mintak ampun sangat-sangat, susah aku nak pegang fon... kecuali untuk orang-orang tertentu ;) hehe. Dah balik Johor, memang berjalan ke rumah orang je kerjanye. Rumah sedara-mara dari Johor ke Batu Pahat la, ke Pasir Gudang, Kulai, Ulu Tiram, Kangkar Pulai, Kampung Melayu, semualah. Tak masuk lagi rumah kawan papa dekat area-area yang tak pernah pergi selama ni.. So, memang perhatian tu takde sangat kat phone. Nafsu nak berSMS pun kurang hoho. Tapi dengan dia ada je :P Lagipun jarang yang amat sangat, satu family dapat kumpul dekat Johor ni, tambah-tambah lagi aku dah masuk U. Memang payah kitaorang nak gather :( So bila dapat gather tu, memang aku tak berapa nak sangat tengok fon or nak berFB nih, better layan family kann...

Ni la kira-kiranya perasaan bila kena fire direct tu hoho.

Tapi dah lama dah orang tegur aku pasal kes balik Johor ni, cuma cik adik sorang tu ja yang main fire direct, haha. Sentap lah jugak. Selalu orang main perli-perli ja. Dia main bagi, tak pandang kiri kanan dah, haha. Kalau salah orang yang bagi, silap hari bulan melenting kot aku? Haha. Nasib baik dia yang cakap, nak marah pun terlupa haha. Tengok, special tau awak. Tu pun tak percaya lagi kan? Hm, takpe lah....

This year, I did not get the chance to properly wish my friends Selamat Hari Raya since somehow this year, celebrating Raya in Johor is different from what it used to be. I am so truly sorry for those I did not wish a Selamat Hari Raya or Happy Holidays at all >.< So to make it up, and not being a drama queen, here's my template wishes for all of you ;)

Ampun dan maaf dipinta, andai ada salah dan silap kata di sepanjang pertemuan kita. Segala sengketa, setiap angkara, dan apa-apa perbuatan yang mengguris hati harap diampunkan. Semoga kita kekal mesra hingga ke penghujungnya. Berbahagialah dan bergembiralah di samping keluarga tercinta. Kalau ada rezeki, kita jumpa ye :) Selamat Hari Raya Eidulfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Terima kasih kepada insan-insan yang telah SMS & call untuk ucap Selamat Hari Raya dan Happy Holidays, rasanya yang SMS tu aku dah pun balas semua(kot). Kalau tak, err, maaf lah ye, terlepas pandang. Hehe.

Tahun ini tahun yang sangat bermakna bagi aku, sebab ramai kawan baru yang aku jumpa dengan cara yang aku tak pernah terfikir pun, kawan-kawan lama yang aku ingat dah tak akan jumpa lagi :') dan kawan-kawan yang aku sedia ada pun semakin cantek-cantek belaka perangai dan rupa nya hehe. Sekian sahaja buat kali ini, semoga berjumpa lagi. :) Afifah, ketupat awak kat bawah ni ek :p

P/s: Awak, nak ketupat nasi kan? Hm, tak dapat bawak balik la, da habis :( Nanti kita buat ketupat sama2 ye :p ;)

Pages.

I read books a lot. If any of you read novels as much as I do, there will be at least, once that you come across a time that you feel this sudden urge to re-read one of the previous pages right? Pages that you read long ago.

And when you actually read this page, you will either feel very satisfied and happy about it or somehow you feel disappointed and start saying "This is not the way I remember the story" in your head.

But whatever it is you felt after re-reading it, you must remember, there must be a strong and special reason why is it in the first place you actually wanted to re-read it. Maybe that page have some sentimental values for you, or you read that page with someone special to you, or that page changed your life totally. Well, at least you're lucky enough that you were able to read it right.

It hurts the most when you found out that page was torn out, smeared, or damaged by some inconsiderate people. They just have to do it. Personally I don't hate them, maybe that's their way of attaining happiness, why should I block then? So, yeah never mind, do whatever you like, tear off that page, spill coffee on it, alter the story, erase them, go on. I'll take it. As long as it makes you happy.

That's all. Signing out. Thanks. Come again.

P/s: We may have a special guest for the next post ;)

Cake.

This is a cake. As you can see, it is Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence, yes it is mouth watering isn't it? We all have our favorite and worst part of the cake rite? I mean some people prefer the icing, some love the fruit and chocolate bits in it, and some just enjoy the soft cake while others don't like to eat that part.

Well, the same goes for our life. Imagine life is a cake. And all your life experience, problems and happenings are pieces of it. Got it? Now, we all have a piece of a cake from time to time until the cake finishes. But our pieces are different. Some have theirs big, some have theirs small, he has strawberries on his, she has a candle on hers, and we all are stuck with our own piece. Sometimes we'll get to the nice part that we really enjoy, we will remember the taste and we might want to share it with others, but there are times where whether we like it or not, we will get to the part of the cake that we don't like and we still have to eat the cake, we can't give it away, but we can share it.

The thing is that. Sometimes, we share the wrong part, and we hog the wrong part. By this, what I am trying to say is that, we must know, what to keep and what to share. You don't share something private with just anyone, make sure it counts. You may end up being blackmailed or back stabbed. Not that I'm being pessimist or paranoid, it is just that, if you share too much, some may say that you are a drama queen and you are weak and stuff. You don't want that, do you now? Hm? Still, if you got the bitter part of the cake, sharing never hurts, some people can enjoy it, and at least, it eases you. Same thing in life, you have a problem, you can solve it by yourself, that's fine. But never burden yourself too much. We are but fragile humans, alone. But having comrades, friends and especially family, we are strong, and we will survive. Even if the road is winded, filled with so many obstacles, if you go through it with someone who really love you, you won't be stuck and die halfway, you will finish that path in the end. You may end up hurt badly, you will feel tired and spent, but you aren't the only one, those who accompany you feel the same exact torture, and still they walk with you. In the end that piece of shitty cake is finished, and you can actually talk about it with those who shared the piece, alone no more....

We all will finish the cake, sooner or later. You can take pictures of it, write about it, tell about it to your friends, keep it as your secret. There's so many things to do with it, and you get to choose. So choose the way you want. I choose the interesting way to eat it. How about you?

So that's it folks. It's been a while since I post anything. This post, is meant to all of those who read this, or who don't. I'm but a simple blogger, leave a comment, rate, subscribe, do come again, thank you :)