I finished the end posting exam!!! Yeayyyy~ And guess what??? Come on guess hehehehe.
Nobody cares~ No one come and asked how was it, did I did ok, was it hard, did I celebrate, are my group having an end posting party? No. None. Nada.
I would have asked you all that. All that and more. I would even asked whether you wanna do something together. A movie. Dinner. Tea. Anything. But no. One specifically asked me not to talk to her, and the one time she texted me, she claims and strongly justify that it was a mistake, no way it was for me. And another, I don't know, justifications here and there, phone's not in vicinity, busy, have not yet told others we met, I don't even think she consider talking about how the day went.
Yes. I deserve this. Fine. What else. What. All those I did was to be forgotten? All those things I did was an act? To fool who? What did I get? Tell me. What. You think I leisurely spent my time just because I'm so free? You think I get to tell people about it? Did I take advantage of you? Really? Did I? So whatever we did together was just all me taking advantage of you? Not a single moment that was honest? Is that it?
I skipped lunch. Didn't feel like it. Went to the gym for an hour. Almost fainted in the locker room when I was going back. Was going to pay the phone bills, but the company's closed today, there's a notice put up, but I can't read it. Then got back home, relax, showered, boiled some eggs, then went to the mosque.
As I got back, I texted Melissa about everything. I should have done it so much sooner. At least this time, I come clean, I was the one who said it, and if she hates me for what I have done and caused, so be it, I did what I should. Being honest (yea, all the things I said like how much I care about people is a lie right, I mean, what an ass, I lied about everything)
And now. I want to spend some time. With someone. To talk, eat, do something together. But no. Such things are no longer I deserve. Like my grammar, so shitty I want to vomit.
Nobody cares~ No one come and asked how was it, did I did ok, was it hard, did I celebrate, are my group having an end posting party? No. None. Nada.
I would have asked you all that. All that and more. I would even asked whether you wanna do something together. A movie. Dinner. Tea. Anything. But no. One specifically asked me not to talk to her, and the one time she texted me, she claims and strongly justify that it was a mistake, no way it was for me. And another, I don't know, justifications here and there, phone's not in vicinity, busy, have not yet told others we met, I don't even think she consider talking about how the day went.
Yes. I deserve this. Fine. What else. What. All those I did was to be forgotten? All those things I did was an act? To fool who? What did I get? Tell me. What. You think I leisurely spent my time just because I'm so free? You think I get to tell people about it? Did I take advantage of you? Really? Did I? So whatever we did together was just all me taking advantage of you? Not a single moment that was honest? Is that it?
I skipped lunch. Didn't feel like it. Went to the gym for an hour. Almost fainted in the locker room when I was going back. Was going to pay the phone bills, but the company's closed today, there's a notice put up, but I can't read it. Then got back home, relax, showered, boiled some eggs, then went to the mosque.
As I got back, I texted Melissa about everything. I should have done it so much sooner. At least this time, I come clean, I was the one who said it, and if she hates me for what I have done and caused, so be it, I did what I should. Being honest (yea, all the things I said like how much I care about people is a lie right, I mean, what an ass, I lied about everything)
And now. I want to spend some time. With someone. To talk, eat, do something together. But no. Such things are no longer I deserve. Like my grammar, so shitty I want to vomit.
No comments:
Post a Comment