From the hadith above, I do believe we must tell the truth. Even though, if it will really hurt, either we ourselves or the person listening to the truth we tell them. But.... Is it wrong for me to think that the truth itself is not meant to be instantaneously? I mean, one day, I will tell the truth about it, just not now, because I am scared it would hurt us so much, and I'm not prepared for it. I still believe my heart is weak, and my spirit wavers too much when I'm tested with anger and jealousy. So for now, I'll be honest as much as possible.
Ya, tetap ada perasaan kasih yang amat kuat di lubuk hati ini untuknya.
Tidak, tak pernah sekali pun aku ragu tentang perasaan ini.
Ya, cemburu yang meluru sering menerpa, oleh itu aku memilih untuk hanya mengetahui yang aku perlu.
Ya, memang aku bukan yang terbaik, namun aku sedang berusaha sesungguhnya.
Tidak, tak ada niat tersirat dalam perlakuan aku, hanya aku inginkan ketenangan yang sebenar, dan aku ingin persiapkan diriku untuk menjadi seorang yang jauh lebih baik dari sekarang.
Ya, setiap hari, aku akan mengingatimu, berharap engkau juga berusaha mencapai masa depan yang bahagia.
Aku berharap sangat-sangat semoga, kita menemui pengakhiran yang bahagia.
In our life, especially in our teenage phase, most of us will succumb to the dark side. Yes, it is fun there, no limitations, no obligations, you are at your own free will. Do anything. Without any cause. No one will care. You are living a life filled with things that you used to only watch on television. Not long in the dark side, and you shall be tied to it. Your life is entangled to it. Every single day you will crave for more, and more, and more. You will push your limits. You are lucky if you did not reach the point of no return, you are blessed by God if there is someone trying their very best to pull you out of it, and you are an ignorant, selfish bastard if you did not even tried to help your friends out of the darkness of life.
The guilt will pile up, until one day, you will sit in your room, your heart feels empty, your mind confused and twisted, and you start to realize, just a teeny tiny bit of awareness, that what you are doing is wrong. This is the turning point, this is where you make a choice, to live in that state for sometime, or try to struggle yourself out of it and go back to the righteous path. It will not be easy. You will hesitate. You yourself will be at war inside. Your mind clashes between trying to repent and your desire and lust. Your body agonizes, constantly trembling to repeat its routine in your dark life. Your heart quiver with the slightest sight of the "pleasure" in the dark side.
But that is why we have to make friends. Choosing your friends are the best way to survive. But, I choose not to be picky, anyone who are willing is a friend of mine. Befriends with all kinds of people, the pious, the nerds, the jocks, the smart ass, the joker, heck everyone! Learn from them. And in our context of post, the pious friends that you have are the one you should seek help and guidance from. They will be more than happy to help. I understand, we do feel shy, but that is normal. Try, bit by bit. If you cannot improve by leaps and bounds, cute little continuous baby steps will do to :) Never give up. The journey is hard, and bumpy so that you won't get bored ^-^
That is all for now, thank you, and do come again :)
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